To Regain A Right Which Was Lost

Last week, Minnesota legislator passed a law for marriage equality.  This makes for the 12th state that has allowed such a bill to become law.  For friends and acquaintances, this was a huge win, as it’s been a long battle, and although I reap the benefits of being able to marry based on my sexual orientation.  It’s interesting that one year ago from this posting, I was also legally able to marry based on my orientation.

Let me elaborate on this a little, as I can imagined I just made a couple heads tilt.  In my blog where I wrote about dating, I spoke about my attraction to women, and even mentioned my dating of a fantastic woman now.  By all definitions this makes me a transwoman, who happens to also be a lesbian.  Hypothetically speaking, let’s say my relationship was moving along fantastic, and I got to a point where I would want to marry this woman, I couldn’t even act on that, up to a week ago.

Trying to wrap my brain around the effects of no longer being in a societal normal relationship, was rather difficult from a marriage perspective.  Here we are, seven months of being together and being unsure if legally our relationship would be recognized for no more then what it is now.  A year ago at this time, despite so many things being similar, one major difference was in play.  Legally I was still male.  If for some reason, if my love and I wanted to elope and commit to ourselves to that level, legally speaking it could have been done.  Now don’t get me wrong, she sees me as female, and my passing capabilities allow for where a lot of people assume I am cis-female.  But as the law saw it, our decision to do this would have allowed for this.  What may I ask, changed?  Why was it okay for me to possibly been able to marry my partner, but then within a day’s ruling I was no longer able to do this?

Our love and devotion to ourselves wouldn’t have been any different at any point.  Our willingness to come to compromise, and sacrifice for one another would be that of any other good relationship.  What was different?  The law saw me as female.  That was it.  My personality was truly intact, other that what hormones had done for me; my body is still in the same shape as before.

Sense the confusion? Good, you should.  It’s so odd to have this right, one which everyone should be able to have, and have it simply changed.  But, I’m fortunate.  I realize this battle for rights started a long time ago, it’s only effected me for the past year.  It’s a right I am glad to have back, and I can enjoy imagining what my wedding day will be like again.  It’s also nice to have a person who I can begin imagine sharing that day with me.

For those of you are aren’t transgender, and have been fight for equality rights to love who you do, I’m glad to see you’re able to enjoy these dreams too.  I hope that the dreams of loved ones everywhere in this state will enjoy thoughts that, I’ve been allowed to start to think about again.


4 thoughts on “To Regain A Right Which Was Lost

  1. I can definitely relate to your post. I am a divorced transwoman, but when when I was married to my wife we had of course been legally married male and female, but during our relationship things were changing. While my wife had been quite supportive of my gender expression, she in the end did not want to be married to a female, which was one component of our divorcing. However, I used to think how cool it would have been to be legally married gay couple in New York. Of course in 2011, New York State did legalize marriage equality, so I totally get this blog!
    Now four years into my transition, I have seemingly lost that attraction to women, so I guess I don’t have as much to worry about in my future, but I strongly endorse all the states that have been passing it. So congratulations to all the Minnesotans out there who now have earned that very basic right to love and to marry.

  2. As a trans lesbian, I find equal marriage is my equalities fight too, even though I am very unlikely to get married. Where there is equal marriage, it is a huge symbol of equality: the prejudice is clearly wrong and it ceases to be an issue. Yesterday the Church of Scotland decided that individual presbyteries could appoint gay ministers in “civil partnerships”, and the Same Sex Marriage bill passed its report stage in the House of Commons.

    • I would like to think that is a start. 🙂 As it is, Minnesota allowed cities to whether they would allow civil unions years ago.
      Though it’s not the title of marriage, we may see equality in your part of the world some day. Here’s hoping!

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