Archive | February 2012

Wow, Interactions Seem to Get More and More Interesting

Its interesting what kind of reactions I get from trans-people when I talk about transitioning on the job here.  A retail job has me in the face of customers everyday.  Some people understand a job, is a hob, is a job.  But other individuals marvel in the fact I do this.  I never understood this was such a shocker.  But now, with some of the interactions I’ve had of late; its make wonder if the surprised people have had their own experiences similar to my own.

The first one interaction that caught me off guard was early last week.  It was slow at work and I was working on something on my terminal and a co-worker had a couple at her terminal, the customers also had a couple younger children with then.  One of the little girls was looking at me a little trying to figure me out, and bravely walked up to me and straight out asked, are you a boy or a girl?  All I could think is, “Now, it begins.”   So I stopped what I was doing and leaned on the counter to talk back to this little girl, and I asked back, “What do you think?”  Now before I go any further, I want to make it a point to say that its been a few days since I’ve gone anywhere other than work, and I am not a person who will tear the shit out of my face with a shaver.  Needless to say I was a little scruffy.  With that said the girl looked at my for a few minutes, and with a smile said, “you’re a girl!”  I smiled a little and replied, “what about the hairs on my face?”  She thought about that for a few minutes, and told me that it didn’t matter.  So I asked why she thought I was a girl, “because you smile a lot.”  I retorted, “but boys smile too.”  She had a big grin a told me, “You smile different, you seem happy.”  Her mom came and got her by that point, but she was right, I was happy.

Just a couple days later, I had another interesting discussion.  I was  doing a credit check for a customer, as I was talking to consumer credit rep, I could see my customer just looking at my hair.  Near the end of the call, she finally said, “I’ve never seen a guy with hair like yours.”  I tiled my head a little and asked what she meant.  “Your hair, it falls like a ladies’ hair.”  I was a little dumbfounded and wasn’t sure what to  say.  I finally replied, “I condition well?”  She quickly told me that wasn’t it, there was definitely something else at work.

I even had a Jack-Ass I kicked out my store and as I was yelling telling him to leave (in my really deep boomy voice.) I apparently didn’t even sound like a guy.  Well; I guess I am out of luck at trying to hide in plain sight at work.  Regardless of what I do, you can certainly see the changes that my body has.





Trans and Not Giving a Damn About It

I’m over due for an entry here.  I’ve been extremely busy, so I apologize.  So here’s a run down of what’s going on.  About two weeks ago, I was talking to the owner of a video game news site I contribute to about an abandoned position.  In that discussion I suddenly became the editor in chief of the site.

In addition to that site, I’ve been working on another site that’s game related and trying to branch out to several different mediums.  So needless to say, I’ve been a busy.  But with being busy with one of those sites, an issue came up in regards to me.  The issue lies that we use our gamertags within a podcast, (gaming identities for those of you not in the know) and along with my gamertag I use an old but trusty radio voice.  My radio voice is, well, a deep bass-like type radio voice.  It seems to go well with the way that cast goes, and I really don’t want to change that.  At first this may seem to be a non-issue, but we’re quickly expanding from gaming news to doing certain live events.

What does this mean to me, this means, as my transition continues to occur and my physical changes take place, my appearance will not match the voice that goes along with the show.  I was asked to decide what I would like to do about it, but regardless of what it was, my colleagues would support me.  I decided that I just didn’t care.  I would make my appearance as the woman I am, I just happened to be gifted with a really deep announcing voice.

Now, that’s all fine and dandy for me, but what did I bring this up.  I wanted to make a point of speaking to this because as a transwoman, I tend to want to come off as passing.  Along with myself, I know that is a common concern for several other transwomen to pass.  Why wouldn’t it be?  It’s easy to be ridiculed and harassed about our trans-identities at times.  As such, I have worked rather hard at getting a voice that is rather believable as a cisgender woman.  I wanted it to blend well with people and not stick out as someone outside the norm.  But, that isn’t entirely me.  I am not willing to let go of a part of me that happened to be considered masculine, this being a voice I use for a show.

I don’t plan to do this speaking all the time, I do plan to use my trained voice in normal day-to-day activities, but if I am doing something related to our site, and I have a headset on, and a microphone in front of me, I want to be able to belt out the bass that my voice is quite capable of doing.  I would want to encourage this from my brothers and sisters.  As you transition, bring something with you.  I am bring my voice, something that shows that, even though it is important to get through transition, that we don’t care we are trans.  We care we are people, we have things we can contribute to teams, people, and society.  What are you bringing with, or what did you bring with through your transition that shines back onto who you were once.  You don’t have to like where you were at one time, but it is a part of you who you are and there’s always at least one thing that you had to have liked about it.