Goals Achieved in 2011, and Plans for 2012

Looking back on 2011, I can’t even begin to believe what I’ve accomplished during the year.  When we were bringing 2010 to a close, that New Year’s Eve I was out as a guy.  I wore a 3 piece suit, fedora, and stated that was going to by my last new years as a guy.  Though full time escaped me in 2011, I took huge strides to get myself to that point.

With the set back of a car purchase, the early part of ’11 didn’t have in the way of transition work.  That is not to say that other hopes and accomplishments didn’t happen.  Amazon gift cards from work led to the purchase of my mobile studio for photography work.

Come June 9th.  This was a big day for me.  That was the day I was able to set enough cash aside to get into a sperm bank to make a deposit and then from there, go to the clinic to receive my first prescription.  To step back, I feel I need to explain that one thing I wanted to do is be able to have my own child.  Since I am attracted to women, there is the chance that someday there may be an opportunity to parent a child. Now, with that out of the way.  I got in to get my first estrogen prescription and had witness to the next step in my transition.

It was crazy to notice a small change within a week.  I was listening to a radio show, and one particular story was one I could relate to some degree and as it hit close to home, I started to get misty eyed.  I had originally thought to myself, ‘why am I crying about this?’ then it hit me…it was the first time I started to see a change.  It was small one, and some people wouldn’t see it, but being open to my feelings and not hiding it behind a wall.

As I started to notice changes, I got to do other things.  I moved from the suburbs of the twin cities to Minneapolis.  I now lived closer to work and anywhere I went.  I was keeping up with photo work and had a few offers.  I was happier then I had.  I was moving to where I wanted to be as far as who I was and doing some of the work I loved to do.  I decided to take on another challenge.

It was shortly after my move I saw a calling for a contributor to a video game news/reviews site that was up and coming.  Have just started something like that with my new roommate I thought this would be a great opportunity to expand my horizons and get myself out there.  After submitting a news article followed by a game review I was one of eight individuals selected to write for this site.  This was a feather in my hat!  Despite another workload, it was one I was going to appreciate.  After all, who can honestly say they need to play this game for work!? I now can do that.

In September, I had a meeting with my therapist and talking about all that I was doing with work, how I felt about the hormones, and figuring out what I could do for the rest of the year.  I was feeling really good about myself.  Following that, our discussion led us to find that I don’t seem to be depressed anymore.  Everyone has their days, but I was not where I was before I started to consider transition in 2009.  A milestone was set, clinical depression seemed to have been defeated.

As the end of the year rolled around I finally did do what I hoped to do despite my set back from the beginning of the year.  I was able to get in and start my laser hair removal.  My tell that drove me absolutely insane has been attacked!  I now can make my way out in the world and some what cover that and pass.  This is after one treatment, so after more and the regrowth I deal with subsides more.  I look forward to what the treatment does me.  New Year’s Eve 2011, I wasn’t full time, but I would be damned if I went back on what I said a year prior.  I went to the same club I went to the year before and had a great time.

So now, 2012.  I hope to go forward with work related tasks.  One photo job, two video game sites, and one day job, I feel like I am going to be a busy gal.  2012, I hope to close a huge chapter in my life.  Though its going to be really hard to make that step, I also can’t help but be excited for it.  2012 is the  year I am going full time.  2012 is when I plan to get my name changed.  Lastly, I hope that 2012 will be the year I get to live life like I never have before.

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